Digging in: what or who has made you feel like you belong in this work?

I recently had the privilege of attending the Northeast Farm to Institution Summit in Portland, Maine, which was hosted by Farm to Institution New England. This is my first time attending one of their events, and I thought it was great!

There were about 400 people gathered, over two days, from across the food system world. I noticed many educators, food pantry or food hub managers, chefs, farmers, food companies who are working directly with farmers, a few other university folks, and staff from many other organizations doing all kinds of good work related to food.

Now, digging in: the first session I attended was called: Story Circles: Belonging in the Food System. It was facilitated by Gail Burton and Beck Hagopian of the Northeast Sustainable Agriculture Working Group (NESAWG). They have been gathering stories related to the food system as part of a larger storymaking initiative.

So - this was not your typical conference break-out session. We sat in a circle, the lights were dimmed, and the door remained closed once we started the activity. We were asked to listen to the prompts, share as much as we were comfortable with, and to be active listeners for whoever was speaking.

To get us warmed up, Gail asked us to “bring an ancestor into the room, someone who rooted you in your food and farming work.” (This could be a family ancestor, or anyone who influenced you)

We all took turns sharing, and listening.

Next, she asked us to tell a story. A story story - one with a beginning, middle and end. Responding to this question: “What or who has made you feel like you belong in this work? Or not belong? End your story with: ‘and that is why I do this work’, or ‘that is why I am motivated to do (fill in the blank) in my work’.”

Now…Gail warned us that this sharing can sometimes bring up emotions. And, she also said that if you didn’t have a story right away, to wait, because often something would just come.

I think she was right on both fronts. Every person around the circle told a detailed, absorbing, personal and inspiring story. And no one had prepared anything beforehand. I was not bored, even for a second, and that almost never happens in a conference session.

What did I learn?

First, answering those questions helped me to better understand some of my own motivations. That question about belonging was tricky for me. When I thought about it, I realized that I have been in a nearly constant process of feeling a mix of not belonging, trying to belong, and belonging…probably ever since I began this work. Or ever since I began to work, period, unless you count the odd jobs I did during high school.

My first “job” after graduating from college was as a Peace Corps volunteer in Mali. Now, if getting dropped off by yourself, as a 20-yr-old American in a small village in West Africa isn’t one of the biggest exercises in trying to figure out how you belong…

But that experience is also what came to mind when we were asked to name an ancestor who rooted us in food and farming work. Because it is in that village, with those farmers, that I decided I needed to do this work.

But that certainly didn’t come on day one. And there have been plenty of moments since then that I have doubted whether I belonged in the work - awkward gatherings in rural villages when it was clear there was something that wasn’t being said, and I couldn’t quite get to the bottom of it as an outsider who needed a translator…even more awkward moments in U.N offices in Rome when I couldn’t figure out how many cheek kisses to give to my ever-so-sophisticated European colleagues when they stopped by my desk to say hello…sitting in classrooms as a new graduate student, in my early 40s, surrounded by…younger students.

So what has made me feel like I did belong? What came to mind were moments of being fully and unequivocally embraced by groups who appreciated the work we were doing together. I can recall countless times when I was whisked into spontaneous dance circles at the end of meetings with farmers, dust flying, everyone smiling, yelping, hands thrown in the air. (ok, so even in those moments I felt a bit like I didn’t belong, because my dancing was never quite right, but I did feel like I belonged in the work). I can also think of meaningful one-on-one conversations with farmers, in which I knew that I did understand their story, that they were happy to share it with me, and that we could find a way to do something positive together.

Perhaps, to boil it down, I have felt like I belonged when I was both appreciated, and I could contribute.

Second, I learned how cool story circles are! I connected with the other participants during that session in a way we never would have during a Q&A session or small talk over a coffee break.

And the conversation we had after all the stories were finished was equally interesting. Some little takeaways that I can remember:

• The things we respond emotionally to, or choose to speak up about, tell us a lot about our values and where we might belong.

• Invitation by itself does not always lead to belonging.

• Language and the words we use play a big role in our sense of belonging.

• Sometimes we have to shed the things that make us feel like we don’t belong before we can move to belonging.

The conference theme was “Belonging”, and this was an art activity that was up in the hallway. Anyone could add to it.

I left the story circle feeling energized. I have been wondering since how or when I might be able to do something like this with a different group. What types of other settings would this work well in? What other prompts would work well?

Gail pointed me to a book that they’ve used to help them with their story circles process, The Little Book of Circle Processes, by Kay Pranis. Readers who are interested in learning more might want to check out. Gail also mentioned she has found that the story circle practice is best learned through working with a more experienced facilitator as you get the hang out of, and using a set of guidelines.

Have any of you ever led or participated in something like this? Did you love it? Or wish you could have run for the door? Should we do more storytelling at conferences or other gatherings to replace some of the presentations?